The current series of The Apprentice has crept up on us rather like the sunshine. There have been a few damp squibs in the early weeks, as the paucity of the current crop of candidates make us yearn for the likes of Stuart Baggs and The Badger, before you get the gradual realization that the current crop is the same as every other crop.
Nearly all candidates have big hair, figure-hugging suits and immaculate skin. It’s the same for the women.
Most appear vapid and clueless for much of the show.
It’s no coincidence it’s the likes of Baggs and Badger that stick in the mind. They stood out from the others (for different reasons) because they dared to be different.
We need not worry about them, but for the vast majority, we must pay some attention to what happens next for defeated candidates and here are five possible uses:
Secretary of State for Education. Empty soundbites, ignorance of the subject at hand, decisions based on whim, and ‘research’ failing to meet any of the normal required standards. It would be an easy move for most to be the next Tory tasked with messing up the education system. Come to think of it, Michael Gove would make an interesting candidate on The Apprentice, if only to see him across the table from Lord Sugar.
Oompah Loompah. Take a look at the fake tans (and that’s just the blokes) and then cast your mind back to the workforce in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Something tells me, however, that Roald Dahl would have refused to believe some of the candidates were genuine – as they are too grotesque.
Village Idiot. They would all sail through any selection process.
Person to make Michelle Mone look cleverer. The lingerie magnate is a regular face on the You’re Fired follow up show and usually manages to take about five seconds to speak more sense than any of the candidates. She should hire them to attend her after dinner speaking engagements.
Competitor on Big Brother. Both equally relevant these days.
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