If you are an attractive woman, problem-solving is easier in your underwear – ten things the problem pages teach us

Ten things you can learn by reading the problem pages in tabloid newspapers:

  1. If you are an attractive woman wrestling with a problem, it is much better to think about it clothed only in your underwear.
  2. Your problem is much more important if it can be linked to a book written by the relevant agony aunt or uncle.
  3. It is impossible to be shocked with your mouth closed.
  4. If you start going out with a woman and you discover she has a weirdly attractive mother, it’s probably better to end the relationship there and then.
  5. Men like football more than conversations with women.
  6. Everyone feels lonely or isolated at some point, but ringing the premium rate helpline is a surefire way to uplift your emotions.
  7. There are never, ever, bolts on the inside of bathroom doors.
  8. Hold your hand to your head; that should help solve the problem.
  9. If you start appearing as a silhouette, you’re in deep trouble.
  10. You can’t be good looking and give sensible advice.

Follow Paul Speller on Twitter: @Norbertsdad

MORE ARTICLES BY PAUL SPELLER

It’s not true that politicians are detached, arrogant and stupid….

Superman sticks it to The Man – Incredible Hulk and others follow suit

Ten things you discover when you’re at home in the daytime

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About Paul Speller

Writer, journalist, husband, dad.
Gallery | This entry was posted in Literature, Uncategorized, USA and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to If you are an attractive woman, problem-solving is easier in your underwear – ten things the problem pages teach us

  1. Angeline says:

    Ha ha, made me laugh! I defo do most of my thinking in me underpants!

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