- If you are an attractive woman wrestling with a problem, it is much better to think about it clothed only in your underwear.
- Your problem is much more important if it can be linked to a book written by the relevant agony aunt or uncle.
- It is impossible to be shocked with your mouth closed.
- If you start going out with a woman and you discover she has a weirdly attractive mother, it’s probably better to end the relationship there and then.
- Men like football more than conversations with women.
- Everyone feels lonely or isolated at some point, but ringing the premium rate helpline is a surefire way to uplift your emotions.
- There are never, ever, bolts on the inside of bathroom doors.
- Hold your hand to your head; that should help solve the problem.
- If you start appearing as a silhouette, you’re in deep trouble.
- You can’t be good looking and give sensible advice.
Follow Paul Speller on Twitter: @Norbertsdad
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