Jobs for the boys (and girls) of the House of Keys

Only yesterday, I contemplated possible career changes for super heroes, following the revelation that Clark Kent is quitting his job at the Daily Planet.

It got me thinking about perhaps considering similar moves for super heroes closer to home.

Do we have super heroes any closer to home, here in the Isle of Man? Of course we do. They gather every Tuesday in Douglas.

Still not sure who I’m talking about? Well, it’s the esteemed members of the House of Keys.

Before addressing some of the possible career changes, I decided to lay down some ground rules.

For instance, no MHK could go back to their pre-political career. There are several reasons for this:

  1. Would anyone actually want Treasury Minister Eddie Teare back managing a bank?
  2. Former postman Graham Cregeen still appears to be quite good at delivering letters, as bus drivers know, but his timing is no longer t00 great.
  3. There are enough pharmacists, subpostmasters and taxi drivers already.

In addition, Brenda Cannell has been excluded from consideration because she’s busy enough at this time of the year.

So, without further ado, let’s take a look at possible job opportunities for some of our esteemed MHKs, should the sad day ever occur that they are in need of alternative employment:

A softly spoken voice hiding a foreboding message, plus a willingness to participate in interminably long discussions that no one else wants to hear: why, Chris Robertshaw would make an excellent Emperor Palpatine in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.

Given his tough man image and his reluctance to accept any opinion differing from his own, no matter how reasonable the argument may be, Alfie Cannan would make an excellent nightclub doorman.

Kate Beecroft.  The terrifying Douglas South MHK is ideally suited to play the part of Rosa Klebb in a remake of The Spy Who Loved Me.

Always calm and unlikely to fly off the handle, John Houghton would make a wonderful rage counsellor.


Tim Crookall with his two-tone hair and head-down-a-hole policies, he’s already half way to being a Badger. He could be ripe for a political cull in the future.

David Quirk may not appear to have too many options, but he could do quite well as a sought after answer on Pointless.

Now he is no longer encumbered with the weight of ministerial responsibility, Peter Karran can take up a career as songwriting partner to Paul Simon.*

Zac Hall. Perhaps the Onchan MHK would like to give being a politician a try.

That’s enough careers advice for now. Please remember it’s just a bit of fun. I don’t want lawyers from the Galactic Federation complaining at comparisons with the House of Keys.

But all suggestions are welcome, within the bounds of legality.

Follow Paul Speller on Twitter: @Norbertsdad


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*The whole Peter Karran is Art Garfunkel thing has been covered before by me (click here) but it’s always worth resurrecting the image created by Gary Myers. Credit also due to the mystery man who first saw the similarity.

About Paul Speller

Writer, journalist, husband, dad.
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4 Responses to Jobs for the boys (and girls) of the House of Keys

  1. Pingback: An island’s shame: the abject failure to implement disability discrimination laws | Paul Speller

  2. Pingback: Who has been the best chief minister of the Isle of Man? | Paul Speller

  3. Pingback: It’s panto time in the House of Keys…oh yes it is! | Paul Speller

  4. Pingback: Six tips for the Isle of Man’s newly elected Member of the House of Keys | Paul Speller

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